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A Donkey or An Ass

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1 A Donkey or An Ass on Fri May 17, 2013 7:30 pm

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The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUTFRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is .. . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, even shorten your life.So be yourself and enjoy life.Stop worrying about everyone Else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!



Last edited by GooneyGooGoo on Sat Jun 01, 2013 3:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

2 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sat May 18, 2013 9:34 am

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Hi Gooneygoogoo ,
its an excellent joke and make a lot of sense too . Hahaha .
the bishop should send the Ass to the editor instead , and the headlines will read :
" Editor has just gotten the Best Ass and its Free " ............. hahaha
Thanks , had a good laugh !

3 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sun May 26, 2013 11:19 pm

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Pingpang wrote:Thanks , had a good laugh !
One more for the road Mr.Pingpang.

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and if it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain, and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.''No problem,' he says… And in they go.

Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks.Dirty dishes.They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.He leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and ravishes her, right there in front of her parents.His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and ravishes her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still....Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket and immediately the father yelled!!!
I'll do the fkn dishes!!

4 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Mon May 27, 2013 10:10 am

acm


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Good Joke! Long time never laugh like this. But has to be more discreet, there are some younger forumer around.

Good Job. Power of Vaseline.

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5 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Mon May 27, 2013 4:41 pm

sushi


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a little ' hum sub ' no so good for students and younger readers

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6 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Mon May 27, 2013 5:07 pm

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sushi wrote:a little ' hum sub ' no so good for students and younger readers

These days I find students, having gone through extensive sex education development in schools exposing them to general sex jokes like this, will be like a drop to an ocean.
The word hum sub (Cantonese) generally used my Malaysians as to chiko (Hokkien) used by Singaporeans belong to a generation that has very little exposure to sex education in school during their time because it was considered a taboo subject by many conservative Asian community then.
I hope I am right as, I consider this kinda jokes mediocre and non hardcore compared to the many atrocities they are exposed to through the media even recently, the case of brutal rape by a group of men to a female student in a bus in New Delhi.

7 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Tue May 28, 2013 8:28 am

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GOTTA PEE

Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out.Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped by a cemetery.One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.She was lucky enough to squat next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they went home.
The next day, the husband of one of them was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, he phoned the other husband and said:"These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!". "That's nothing," said the other husband,"Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station.We'll never forget you.'"

8 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Thu May 30, 2013 10:00 am

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Just the other day as I was browsing through some of the old videos on Table Tennis, I stumbled across this.
Can anyone figure this out and tell us how its done or what's the trick behind it?

http://www.flixxy.com/missing-square-puzzle.htm

9 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Thu May 30, 2013 10:17 am

dryvuuu

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10 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Thu May 30, 2013 11:39 am

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Wa dirty trick I got fooled again.thx dryvuu

11 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Thu May 30, 2013 5:08 pm

dryvuuu

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You're welcome.
If that is possible we could eat a bar of chocolate forever!

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12 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sat Jun 01, 2013 3:43 pm

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Dryvuuu wrote:If that is possible we could eat a bar of chocolate forever!

How is that possible? 3 extra cubes from 63 cubes of chocolates is only 4.7% extra so you're not getting an infinite number of cubes that would last forever.

Gotcha!!!

13 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sat Jun 01, 2013 5:45 pm

dryvuuu

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Imagine if the guy were to repeat the same process in the video again & again......(infinite times) the same people will be tricked again & again.......(infinite times) - if they want to watch it infinite times that is. Wink
Now imagine if the box of tiles were a box of chocolate. At the end of the process the guy consumes 3 choc cubes (extra) from the 63 cubes & he repeats the same process (infinite times) with the video edits/cuts & stuff.

In the real world it's not possible but in the creativity world it's possible.

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14 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:38 pm

MsiaBoleh


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For the effort I give you a tap on the shoulder Rudy.

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15 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:01 am

Swee swee


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Much better if the bishop tells the nun to pass him the donkey n he could have kill it.

'Bishop bought the best nun ass in town for free'

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16 Re: A Donkey or An Ass on Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:21 pm

MsiaBoleh


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LOL Sooooo Funnnnnyyy.

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